


The arrival of the patron to the hospital

by Straj



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: The impoverished tycoon falls ill and is treated in the local hospital





	1. The main characters

Patron — healthy uncle, with traces of former luxury — fancy phone, gold rings, thick chain with a cross, a suit from Yudashkin has already been badly battered.

Head - Pain Vladimir Ilyich — a solid man with a bushy beard in a white robe, knows patron for charity work.

Therapist — Snot Michael G. — forever cold thin man with bad lungs and a bunch of sores.

Psychiatrist — Jug Taras Bulovic nervous little man with glasses

Surgeon Eyegouger Alexander — large-sized uncle, oblique seven feet at the shoulders.

Dentist — tooth fairy Konstantin Konstantinovich — a cheerful man with gold teeth.

Atriangular — Grouse Stepan Fedorovich — deaf and nervous the representative of the district hospital

Optometrist — Krot Fedulov the Akakievich— blind as a bat, skinny, long.

Cloakroom — always troubled woman of uncertain years

A lot of patients who go and disturb the hospital to function normally.


	2. Welcome

Impoverished philanthropist coming to the district hospital for treatment. He used the hospital in the election campaign gave a lot of money and is now bankrupt and in Switzerland to be treated cannot.

Patron  
entering

 

And so I again crossed the threshold  
What awaits me  
Alas, I don't know.  
But I get sick and sneeze  
Infection I spread!  
Hopefully will cure me.  
I feel worse day by day.

 

Coming to the closet

 

Take it! That's my coat!

 

Cloakroom  
grumbles

 

Crawl, crawl!  
Tired!  
How do you survive somehow managed?  
Give it to me...

pulls coat

On a number.  
Thing is, why it dragged!

Patron  
rises to the second floor

 

Why so angry?  
What's wrong with that?  
Like fed and clothed.

 

Out into the corridor and met there chief

 

The chief  
happily

 

What do I see?!  
You came to us!  
And finally, you're lying to the visit found!  
I'll show you now!  
Is all this not.

 

Patron  
coughing

 

Here I came!  
Closer hospitals I have not found!  
One dream I  
From the flu to get rid of!!!

 

The chief  
preferring to ignore

 

Let's start with the therapist!  
His heart warmed by the heat,  
He loves all patients  
And lots of joyful moments  
In the practice of it.  
Follow the same

opens the door therapist.


	3. Therapist

At the table sits a man in a white robe, bald and writes something. He raises his head, sees the physician and philanthropist.

Therapist  
tragically

 

I sit here day by day  
Patients infected with sores I!  
Not dying of infection,  
Cough, wheeze,  
They are already gut ache.  
In my brains  
Boiling shit  
And sick of the bars anyway.  
I'm sick, coughing, shaking,  
I would be in Thailand to go  
There just will not be back.  
Sick tired  
Much throat.  
Malicious my fate!

 

Patients  
in the corridor; choir

 

This harmful therapist  
He will accept us or not?!  
What is not understand  
The pills we take!

 

***

 

From the pimples on your butt,  
Have aphids in kerosene to burst!

 

***

 

From the stomach is to drink nettles!  
And an ulcer will die beautiful!

 

***

 

Hemorrhoid cucumber!  
And they come to you fucked up!

 

***

 

On a diet you sit  
Wrong fart!  
From such perversion  
Just the right movement!

 

Patron  
in horror

 

Oh, my God! What kind of people!  
All the germs then will Wake up!  
And tips from patients...  
Gonna Wake up the others!

 

The chief

 

Need more money to us  
Para-para - pam!  
Now go here,  
With optometrist trouble!

 

Go on


	4. Optometrist

Optometrist  
the threshold

 

Here's someone with gorochki down,  
And who are, do not understand!  
You have me, damn it, not treated.  
You can all go fuck!  
Oh, it's you. You are our Director!  
I, of course, fly.  
And who's with you?  
A lot of money?  
It cured me on the shoulder!

nervously running around the office

They are blind like a mouse!  
I want to cure them I!  
I just need a job  
Hanging on by my family!  
As they all make me sick!!!  
As I can't stand!!!  
And if you do not translate,  
Today I'll bite you!!!

 

***

 

Patients  
in the hallway

 

We are blind!  
Like moles!  
We have not to beauty!  
In phones we are sitting.  
The letters look small!  
Into the TV stare  
And then cataracts toil!!!  
Blindness and cataract!  
Nearsightedness!  
Farsightedness!  
Oh-Oh-Oh!!!

 

***

 

The chief  
condescending

 

Please don't you be afraid!  
Our patron we will give money!  
And the big money  
We equip only you!

 

Patron  
backed

 

And optometrist here blind as a mole,  
And it is necessary that the opposite!  
To this fall...  
Then the eyes in the skull will not find!

 

The chief

 

Now we're marching to atriangular!  
Follow me, I'll show you the way!


	5. Atriangular

Atriangular  
seeing the doctor; loud

 

GOP-stop!  
You came from around the corner!  
GOP-stop!  
Need pill from the throat!

But I'm not giving that!  
Only if half!

GOP-stop!  
You were given ears!  
GOP-stop!  
And nothing you hear!

And don't yell — save our ears!  
I atriangular and spit in your souls!

 

The chief  
happily

 

We came up with our patron!  
He us very very happy!!!  
The money will give it to us today!!!  
We will be always happy!!!

 

Sick  
looking

 

The feast today is?  
Can I go in, sit down?

 

Atriangular

 

Up to five reception there!  
And, actually, I have lunch!

 

Sick

 

And I have a coupon  
Sixteen forty-one...

 

Atriangular

 

Something I do not understand?!  
Here annoying people  
There is no admission and they rod!!!

 

The chief  
output patient

 

Come tomorrow, in three hours!  
You start the wonders!  
I personally, your ears will look

added in a whisper

"The neck harness would chip"

 

Patron  
sneezing

 

I gotta do it now!  
Not in an hour!  
Oh my God! Oh my God!  
I want mommy home!

 

The chief  
pulling the sleeve

 

Now we are waiting for the crazy...  
The psychiatrist!  
He is we — such an innovator!


	6. Psychiatrist

The physician enters a psychiatrist's office. He sits and writes something.

 

The chief  
whisper

 

He is passionately fascinated by the case,  
Treatment in the head puts it!  
And writing a thesis  
About prostration!!!

 

Psychiatrist  
notice the brass and shrill.

 

Left me now  
Milkyway, Snickers, Mars,  
Spock, McCoy and Enterprise,  
Three persons — three weights,  
Each in pounds... five.  
Plus, Naruto, inuyasha, and Lupin,  
He took heart aunt Glasha captured.  
Sherlock Holmes, one second...  
The third actually came with the pipe.  
Where is the peace and labor?  
All patients coming!!!  
Trump, Obama, Putin, Zhirinovsky.  
Came two, said: We are the Board!  
And I want to ask you,  
To help us give birth to clove.

 

The chief

 

You see — he's so great.

 

Psychiatrist  
his head

 

I — so great!  
I'm so smart!  
Your star lit in the sky!  
Pray for me!  
Proud of me!  
Where are you getting?  
SICK?!

 

Sick  
opening the door

 

The pass for five hours  
Doctor! I think  
I — Hemlock.  
All night in my dream  
Sheep dancing  
On the louboutins...  
I guess that means something?

 

Psychiatrist

 

Eat a pill of analgin,  
Scratch the cat back...

 

Sick

 

Yeah, I have no cats,  
I have only a little cockroach...

 

Psychiatrist

 

So cockroaches Pat on the back  
IMMEDIATELY GET OUT OF HERE!!!

 

The chief  
tenderly

 

What a warm person!  
It will not forget forever  
All those who he has treated!  
And now to the dentist let's go!  
The interview had take!

 

Patron  
myself

 

Oh my God, my God, my God!  
And what's going on here with me?  
Are strobing people  
Now run away, I was not here to condemn!!!


	7. Dentist

Dentist  
towering over some poor guy

 

On the ground the whole human race  
Only to me today,  
Teeth the moat and insert them  
Anyone who pays me money!

 

Sick

 

With the pain of cruel and eternal  
I glorify him.  
Everyone who can't pay  
Go here forever!

 

Dentist  
starting to drill

 

Surrounding the office  
The moaning crowd!  
People are dying for metal!  
A dentist reigns here,  
Here reigns!  
A dentist reigns here,  
Here reigns!

Here is ceramics,  
Gold, platinum and silver,  
Who crowns despises...  
Just my, my goodness!!!

 

Sick

 

In pleasing the God of evil  
Get up early sometimes;  
And people, sick of the river  
Everything flows in the corridor!!!

 

Dentist  
puts cotton wool

 

People are dying for metal,  
People are dying for metal!

A dentist reigns here,  
Here reigns!  
Dentist reigns here,  
Here reigns!

 

The chief

 

Patron only reigns!  
Only he reigns here!!!  
And now we go to the morgue  
There is surgery is our God!!!


	8. Surgeon

Surgeon  
brandishing a scalpel

 

Oh! It's the morgue!  
And I'm the God!  
And I surgeon!  
And in the proc  
I see!  
I will wave a scalpel  
And here  
So rip your sick stomach!  
Crawling intestine, and kidney, liver,

I'm flying  
Who I have goes untreated,  
Are already in the ground moist!  
Ay-Oh!!!

I kick your skull is so hard  
And I get your turnip.  
I am now in alcohol it will rinse,  
And back to the brain louse.

I'm flying  
Who I have goes untreated,  
Are already in the ground moist!  
Ay-Oh!!!

My great-grandfather, Victor Frankenstein!  
It the bodies were cut and collected.  
And he did not leave his attempts...  
And monster wondrous created!

I'm flying  
Who I have goes untreated,  
Are already in the ground moist!  
Ay-Oh!!!

And I — God  
This morgue  
I declare the birthplace of his!  
From these bodies I make people!  
She-She!

 

The chief  
tenderly

 

What is the innovator, our surgeon!  
But I see... you fear!  
Don't worry, he is very kind and gentle.  
And he has such a tiny Dachshund!!!

 

Patron

 

I'm terrified! In fright! I'm shaking!  
A little more... and I'm done!  
Excuse me, I'll beat you to the toilet...  
Will be back... money will help.

 

The chief

 

Of course. Wait.  
Order lunch?  
We have nurses Ukrainka;  
They are in bed with anyone.

 

Patron  
hastily running away

 

Then! Then!


	9. Epilogue

Patron  
at home, under the covers, shaking

 

Let me die  
I will not go into this grace.  
Oh my God! An evil hour,  
When I met you!  
Dreams to dream is the day!  
Here with the zombies and later the entire ashes!  
How can there patients treated?  
You never know what can happen to them!  
The surgeon will cut the eye doctor will blind,  
Cloakroom you obhamil!  
The psychiatrist will bring to mind...  
The therapist will add shit...  
No. Better I tea with honey drink,  
But there I will never return!!!

 

***

 

Clinic

 

The chief  
in the office

 

Where is the money? Damn it phone!  
Took everywhere, seen everything!  
And penny fucking gave!  
Where's the money we will take the increase in wages?  
Oh, it's patron! Nasty bastard!  
Not appreciated! Do not understand us!  
And I wanted him to arrange a class!  
Brandy river, tequila, red caviar,  
And Beluga and loads of dough.  
Girls pretty flower garden...  
It is true for the nurses not accustomed to!  
Well, we all eat,  
And the new patron lure  
Cleverly placed in the network...  
Because a lot of suckers in the world!


End file.
